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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

BEAST MAN BROUGHT DOWN!




THE NEWSPAPER OF THE FICTIONAL TOWN OF HALO, OREGON

Fugitive Aaron Swaggerty went out with a bang last night, a fitting finale for the renegade ex-cop and military survivalist who set off dynamite that leveled most of the town of Halo in early May.

Swaggerty has been on the Most Wanted List for the area since explosions destroyed most of Halo's businesses and homes on the north side of Celestial Creek. 

He had previously been declared dead in a mining cave-in that seemed impossible to escape. However, Swaggerty paid the price for survival in losing his suave good looks, which he used to charm an unknown number of women to become part of his very profitable baby-selling scheme. (See before and after photos below.)



When his scheme started to unravel, Swaggerty swore vengeance on those responsible, which led to vicious attacks and the explosions in Halo. Reports of a "beast-man" were received by police a number of times while Swaggerty was on the run. 

Key to bringing Swaggerty down were Deputy Dawson Browning and several of the O'Shea brothers. 

After trying unsuccessfully to bring the beast-man in alive, a boat he had rigged with dynamite exploded. Swaggerty's body was recovered shortly thereafter. 

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